"Thanks God for love and mercy and hope
for hands strong enough to undo my noose's rope
for some things that are bigger because you make them
for love, for it running deeper because its yours
thanks for hour after hour of lung filled life resting in my chest
for being bigger and knowing best
better than i know cleaning up my mess of failed attempts
a stained wedding dress.
and these missed marks and failed disasters you heal and you bless
you hear my words and acknowledge me, my life, my presence
you see worth where i choose death
you see hope where i feel wounds
you see redemption behind my eyes, past the shadows running around my head
i feel broken and you see whole
you see beauty and love and glory
words i fear.
for fear if i accept them i will have to punish myself because i dont deserve them
i still dont.
but you dont care
because grace is blind you tell me that
no amount of scars, self-inflicted or not could keep me down
i can still get back up"

-september 2, 2009.